You might have read this joke before but it’s fun to read again.

A daughter says to her mother, “I’m divorcing Irv. All he wants is sex, sex and more sex – my vagina is now the size of a 50-cent piece when it used to be the size of a 5-cent piece.”

1. When you got circumcised, did it take more than one try?

2. Your dick’s so small, you can sodomize anys.

3. Your dick’s so small, you can masturbate through the slits in a fork

4. Your dick’s so small, you rent out the Hubbell when you have to piss.

5. Your dick’s so small, bacteria laugh at it.

The judge says, “You seem like nice young men, and I’d like to give you a second chance instead of jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to convince others of the evils of drug use. I’ll see you back in court Monday.”

My son celebrated his birthday in July. I got him an iPhone. He just loved it. Who wouldn’t?

I celebrated my birthday in September, and my wife made me very happy when she bought me an iPad.

I got my daughter an iPod Touch for her birthday in October.

A man wanted to celebrate his wife’s Birthday by throwing a party.

So he ordered a BIG birthday cake.

The salesman asked him what message he wanted to put on the cake.

He thought for a moment and said,

It’s not the fault of the students if they fail their exam because there are only 365 days in a year, but…

This is a very old story (or joke?)…I’d read it many years ago but someone sent it to me again today; it’s still nice and worth to read again.

Once upon a time there lived a king. The king had a beautiful daughter, the PRINCESS.

But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt.

No matter what;

metal,

wood,

stone,

Anything she touched would melt.

Hope some of these 50 jokes can cheer up your day.

50. I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, ‘Go to Bournemouth, it’s great for flu’. So I went – and I got it.

49. A seal walks into a club…

48. Went to the corner shop – bought 4 corners.

47. So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people’s pants, it was Wedgie Kray.

46. I’ll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.

45. I tried water polo but my horse drowned.

44. A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: ‘I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.’

43. You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes, he’s a catholic converter.

42. I’ve got a friend who’s fallen in love with two school bags, he’s bisatchel.

41. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can’t have your kayak and heat it.